Hunger

By Senshi of Ruin

The crack of gunshots sounded nearby and the smell of powder was heavy in the night-air. Accompanying the bullets were furious voices and the drumming of boots against the concrete. In the midst of this the two figures ran. A shot nicked the shoulder of the younger one but he was too lost in the exhilaration that the chase brought him to be mindful of it. He hung back a little from his companion, seemingly enjoying dancing with the death that their pursuers promised. Of course, this was a false pledge for neither of them could die, at least not by gunfire.

It had been the gunfire between the rival gangs that had attracted them and they had taken a chance, hoping to stumble across the dying that the gang warfare would leave in its wake. Mallepa was a perilous city, even for a vampire, and Luka had taken an instant dislike to the place. Unfortunately it had, had the opposite impression upon his companion and Kei had requested that they stayed for a while. The younger vampire had always liked to live dangerously. Luka had known Kei for well over a century now and he had never understood quite why. There were a lot of things about his companion that still confused him.

The men behind them were losing ground now and Luka began to tire of this game. With seemingly no effort at all, he grasped hold of Kei and quickened their pace. They moved too fast for the human eye to see and put a block between them and their pursuers in a matter of moments.

Once he was satisfied that they were clear, Luka slowed down and then stopped completely. He caught a flash of irritation on Kei’s face before he masked it with his usual confident smirk.

“See what did I tell you? Nothing to worry about,” he added as he searched his pockets for his cigarettes and lighter.

“Hmmm,” Luka’s response was non-committal for his gaze wandered down to the hand that had grasped hold of Kei’s shoulder previously; there was fresh blood on his palm where that contact had been.

“You’re bleeding,” he stated.

Kei’s eyes widened a little in surprise at this but then hurriedly dismissed it with a shrug of his slender shoulders. His cigarette had already found its way to his lips when Luka reached for him. A sigh, hinting a little of his frustration, escaped him as Luka eased the red jacket off his shoulders.

“Don’t bother. It would have healed by now.”

This statement was true but Luka had always been protective of Kei.

“Humour me,” was his reply as he slid the cloth down and found nothing but some dried blood and smooth skin.

“Don’t I always,” Kei returned cheekily and moved away from the contact. “So what do you want to do now?”

“I’m going to call it a night.”

His expression faded from amused to one of disappointment at this. “But there’s still hours until dawn.”

The run-in with the locals had left Luka feeling more tired than he was willing to admit, especially as he had not fed that night. He hadn't drunk blood for nearly a month now. He just couldn’t bring himself to anymore. Luka was growing tired of living; there was nothing in this world that held any excitement for him now.

“I’m tired,” was all he would allow and Kei accepted this. The blonde had always been naïve in some ways. It was his naivety that had drawn Luka to him all those years ago.

“Okay,” Kei’s voice was tinged with concern but he did not elaborate on this. “I’m going to walk around for a bit. I’ll see you later,” with that he melted into the shadows.

Luka sighed and leaned back against the brickwork of the building that they had come to a stop by. Once Kei had gone there was little need to keep up the pretence. As his body relaxed, Luka felt a wave of fatigue threaten to overcome him. His limbs ached and it was several minutes before he could compose himself enough for the walk home.

Mallepa was a relatively new city and one that was segregated into warring gangs and nations. The police force was weak and prejudices ran deep within it also, and so violence and gunfire was commonplace. However, one could avoid it if one wished and so Luka made his way home without any difficulties.

Luka had managed to find them accommodation in a second floor apartment in one of the Japanese wards. It was a one-bedroom dive and there had been a break in twice already now. The rent was high for what they were getting, which was barely a step up from the streets. The wallpaper was stained yellow in places and peeling off the walls in others. The ceiling was cracked and a lone light bulb hung suspended by only a few wires in each room. The kitchen was dirty and the appliances didn’t look as if they’d ever been cleaned. The bedroom was cramped and draughty. The double bed that was situated in the middle of the room wasn’t very comfortable and squeaked whenever either of them moved. The living room consisted of a black sofa and an ancient television set, complete with ‘bunny’ style aerials. A bookcase containing Luka’s old manuscripts completed the furnishings. It was barely up to human standards. He was passed caring where he lived, however, but he didn’t like the thought of Kei living here after he…

He quickly cut off that line of thought before it had time to manifest. Yet death was always there in the back of his mind, more and more so as of late. Finally Luka felt as though his long life was coming to an end and his only concern now was Kei. Was Kei aware of his sentiments? Luka remained unsure for Kei rarely showed his true feelings nowadays. Long gone was the innocent youth that Luka had fallen in love with. Time had taken its toll on both of them it would seem.

Going into the bedroom, Luka slipped off his coat and slung it over the back of a chair. He felt a pang of loneliness as he pulled the drapes closed, shutting out the moonlit streets. Luka grit his teeth as somewhere inside of him his survival instincts began to protest as he slipped out of the rest of his clothes and then under the cold sheets.

Even though Luka was tired his hunger kept him awake well into the small hours. He tossed and turned feeling unable to settle as his body screamed out for blood. Eventually he gave up fighting it and unwillingly sunk his fangs into his own wrist.

Feeding from himself would not satisfy the hunger but it helped calm the monster within and Luka sighed in relief as the metallic flavour entered his mouth. His eyes became half-lidded as he lost grip on both reality and his surroundings.

******

“I know, I’m cutting it a little fine,” came the statement that drew the vampire from his trance. His sensitive ears picked up the sound of the younger one dropping his keys on the coffee table and then proceeding to hang up his coat before he crossed the room to enter the bedroom.

As the door opened, Luka heard a quiet exhale of breath when Kei took in the blood on the sheets.

“What have you done?” Kei demanded, his expression one of confusion and a little fear at his lack of understanding for Luka’s actions.

Yet he did not hesitate in approaching Luka who was curled up into a ball in the middle of the bed. His fangs were still extended and tinted red. He shook as Kei moved towards him, feeling the monster inside of him rising up and as much as Luka tried he couldn’t force it down. He just didn’t possess the strength.

“Luka?” Kei had reached the bed now and he took hold of Luka’s wrist to inspect the damage. The wound had not healed itself as it normally would have done. “What have you done?” Kei repeated unable to disguise his anguish. The mask was momentarily lifted and Luka saw a glimmer of pain behind his usual guise.

“Why?” This was a new question and one that Luka had not heard before. He felt Kei’s grip on his wrist weaken and the younger vampire moved away. “Why do you keep doing this to us?”

Luka could only shake his head, unable to explain his actions. He hated this life and only wanted it to end. Even having Kei wasn’t enough for him anymore.

Kei reached the window and he kept his back to Luka now as he continued, “You can’t carry on like this. You’re getting weaker and weaker.”

Luka felt some shock at this. He had thought he had been hiding his ailing condition well enough. Indeed Kei had never indicated that he knew that anything was wrong. At that moment Luka wished that he could see Kei’s face so that he could try and work out just what the younger vampire was thinking.

“Kei---”

“Don’t,” Kei stated quietly as he turned back around. His eyes were dark and unreadable as he made his way over to the bed.

Luka was still sat in the centre of the bed and he remained still when Kei sat down on the edge. A frown touched Luka’s features but it was quickly forgotten when Kei leaned over to kiss him.

Although they had been together like this for many decades, there was something different about Kei’s embrace. His kisses were harsher, almost resolved and Luka found himself enticed into reciprocating even when, in truth, his heart wasn’t in their relationship anymore.

His fangs were still unsheathed and the hunger inside of him burned as he returned Kei’s embrace. He hurriedly reversed their positions so that Kei was lying on the bed and he was atop of him.

He then returned to Kei’s lips as his hands worked on the waistband of the trousers that Kei wore. A moan shuddered between them and in moments he had divested Kei of his clothing. Then Luka felt the last remnants of his control vanish at the feel of skin on skin.

Luka reached up and grasped a handful of Kei’s blonde hair, fisting it tightly as he slipped between Kei’s legs. A rough cry escaped Kei’s lips at this lack of preparation but neither had a mind to put a stop to it.

“Kei…” Luka growled his name as he once again sought out Kei’s lips for another fierce kiss. Never before had he allowed himself to lose control like this and it felt so good.

Luka’s attention turned from Kei’s lips to his neck. He bit and licked at the tantalising flesh, feeling his fangs beginning to ache at temptation being so near.

“L-Luka…” Kei gasped as he pressed a palm against the back of Luka’s head, unconsciously encouraging the contact. Luka groaned as he succumbed and his teeth sunk into Kei’s throat. The rush of blood across his senses was like nothing that Luka had ever felt before. He needed more… his instincts felt as though they were on fire. His fangs tore mindlessly into flesh, franticly feeding the hunger that had plagued him for so long.

Kei’s heated cries of pleasure only served to spur him on, harder and faster until the blonde screamed as the rapid pace brought him off quicker than usual.

As the younger vampire shook from his aftermath, Luka continued in almost desperation for the climax that he could feel building up inside of him. When it came his senses exploded and all he could see was red closing in around him.

Luka collapsed onto the bed beside the smaller vampire, content to savour the aftermath. However, as his body relaxed, Luka became aware of his surroundings once more. The haze of pleasure slowly dissipated and his human side began to reassert itself once more.

There was blood on the sheets, much more than there had been previously and Luka could taste the sharp metallic flavour in his mouth.

“Kei---” as he glanced over at the blonde, he stopped cold.

Kei’s throat was covered in jagged gashes and some were still trickling blood as his system struggled to heal them. He lay still and his eyes were fixated on a point on the ceiling.

“Kei?” Luka reached out and shook the younger vampire, feeling as though he had been ripped apart inside as he took in the extent of Kei’s wounds and the knowledge that he had caused them. He had caused them and taken pleasure in the act. His self-imposed starvation had led him to this point.

The desire to throw himself into the sun come dawn was overwhelming but Luka knew that he couldn’t leave Kei like this. Kei would never forgive such an act. He had to face Kei’s anger, Kei’s fury at being betrayed in such a way. It was twice now that Luka had taken his unwilling blood and he felt more self-loathing and despair than he ever thought was possible. The last thing in the world that he had ever wanted to do was hurt Kei.

Some time passed. Luka could not be more accurate than this. The seconds and minutes seemed to drag out painfully and still he could not take his eyes off Kei’s still form. Slowly his gaze came back into focus. Kei grimaced in pain but tried to hide this when he realised that Luka was watching him.

His eyes were unreadable as he pushed himself up in the bed so that he was resting against the headboard.

“Kei, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…” Luka broke off and hung his head as misery assaulted him in waves. Sorry didn’t feel enough somehow and he fully expected Kei to leave him.

The younger vampire’s eyes narrowed and he worried his lower lip as the lingering wounds closed themselves. Fine tremors racked his thin frame but he dismissed Luka’s concern.

“It’s just another way to get off. Don’t worry about it.”

“I didn’t know you were into masochism.” Luka responded quietly as he still struggled to read Kei’s expression.

“I’m not.” Kei appeared momentarily troubled and Luka caught a glimpse of the Kei from the past; the innocent youth whom he had fallen for so many years ago now.

“It was just one rough fuck, that’s all.” Kei continued, displacing these feelings in a heartbeat.

“If you had been human then you’d be dead now.”

“It’s a good thing I’m not then,” Kei shrugged his shoulders as he reached for his cigarettes.

“Why are you so dismissive of this? I lost control. I fed on you.”

“Do you feel better for it?”

Luka frowned, his pain causing him to take a second longer than usual to process this question. “Yes,” he admitted quietly and hated himself for it. Whereas his own blood would not sate his appetite, Kei’s had done so. But taking another vampire’s blood was not a way that he could survive. It had merely lent him strength, enough to find someone. Kei was no fool and knew this. Luka would have thought he would have known better than to allow it but the recollection of Kei’s hand on the back of his head was fresh in his mind. Luka had not stolen Kei’s blood; Kei had given it willingly.

“Then stop worrying,” Kei frowned as he struggled to stop shaking long enough to light a cigarette. Eventually he accomplished this and took a deep drag before continuing. “I rather enjoyed it. You haven’t fucked me like that since… well…” he shrugged but Luka knew what he was alluding too.

Even though Luka was older and more experienced he still held back a little, even now. When they had first slept together Kei had been so new to Luka’s world and so inexperienced and Luka supposed that he never could quite shake off that image of Kei, no matter how much he had changed over the years. They had been lovers for so long that they knew what pleasured the other but Luka always held back. He could never bring himself to be rough with Kei. Until tonight that was.

“You planned this,” Luka accused quietly and Kei raised an eyebrow at the disapproving tone in his voice.

“Not really,” he denied. “I was trying to figure out a way to offer without you turning the martyr on me. Luckily for both of us I didn’t have to.”

Luka was at a loss as to what to say. It didn’t matter how Kei felt about what had happened. The fact was that Luka had a crossed a line and he could never take back events of this night or make amends. The worst of it was that the darkness hidden within him had enjoyed it and Luka couldn’t be sure that he would have the strength to repress it should it emerge again.

Searching for a distraction he grimaced in disgust at the bloodstained bedding. Kei was oblivious to his discomfort until Luka stood and went to the closed door. His blue robe was hanging on the back of the door and he slipped it on before opening the door and stepping out into the corridor. Kei’s voice followed him as he asked:

“What are you doing?”

“Changing the sheets,” Luka replied as he paused slightly to hear Kei’s response to this.

“Leave them.”

“They have blood on them.”

“That’s not bothered you in the past.”

This was true but Luka felt uncomfortable now and he ignored the younger vampire’s protests. He retrieved the spares from the airing cupboard and returned quickly to the bedroom.

Kei sighed and climbed off of the bed, staggering slightly as his body was weakened owing to the severe blood loss. Luka winced at this and busied himself with changing the bedding for want of a distraction.

Once he was done, Kei crushed the stub of his cigarette in the ashtray on the bedside cabinet before getting under the fresh sheets. Luka hovered at the edge of the bed, unsure if he could trust himself around the blonde.

Kei frowned in irritation at his hesitation. “What’s wrong now?” His trust was as it had been all those years ago and when his frown dissipated into a smile as Luka relented and joined him, Luka once again saw an echo of the past in his eyes.

Impulsively he drew Kei to him and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Kei let out a soft sigh and curled his arms around Luka, again reminding the older vampire of the past and all that they had, had.

As sleep finally began to overtake him, he found himself realising that he had been wrong in his view of their world. Nothing remained unchanged, not even Kei. Even though they had lived through so many decades, the passing of time had changed them. Kei was no longer the youth that Luka still imagined him to be. Their curse prevented the cruel march of the ages from taking life away from them but he had grown older inside.

“I love you,” he murmured quietly and he felt Kei smile. Kei’s own fatigue meant that he missed the undertone of sadness in Luka’s voice for Luka’s own long lifetime was fast coming to a close. However, he felt some peace for he was certain that Kei no longer needed him.